Well, hello. Long time, no see, eh? **that saying is actually one of the few things I got from my dad…others include: man-hands, fiery temper, and insatiable thirst…for knowledge, that is.
Anyway, it’s awkward, right? It’s been too long to pretend as though no time has passed–though it was mighty tempting to try and pick up where I left off so I could finally share my “Netflix and Nutmilk” post that I’ve been revising/updating for almost a year–yet, not quite so long that I could just pretend like nothing has happened…but really, it’s because Phil ended up liking rice milk more than nut milk…which blew my title to shit..and looks surprisingly obscene in print…
Anyway, in the spirit of ‘less is more’ and ‘it might be a good idea to move the cat sh*t post down a couple clicks’–here’s what you’ve missed:
1. I’m a full-on effing Hippie. Surprise! With a capital H–and homemade granola on top–full of sangria-induced vigor, (often)–and soon-to-be-off the grid, motherfuckers! (if only I had a windmill and a soldering gun)..
2. Moose is alive! But only because he first had the stealth–and later the courtesy to take his matters outside–usually in the neighbors’ yard after he steals their food, or eats a whole bird–either way, we are litter box free and have since reclaimed our guest bathroom. Oh, and because Blue hasn’t killed him..
3. Pallets are better than *some* drugs: a) they last longer, b) they’re free, c) they’re labeled, so you know which ones will kill you. Repeat this: HT is the pallet for me! (post-10% bleach blast, for due diligence) . Anything else = death pallet… or a handicapped-dog porch, or anything else, really–as long as you don’t keep it inside, burn it, or feed it to your baby..?
5. I also made dog shampoo, counter spray, floor cleaner, and a series of caterpillar snuff films. (that I regret making..and you’ll regret watching…)
6. Vinegar isn’t just for pickles…it’s for cleaning too.
7. Cinnamon pills have actually helped make me less of a mosquito target. No bullshit. I can now use DEET-free repellant and live to tell about it…although, I hope this won’t affect my chances of having turtles for babies.. hmmm.
8. Approved documentaries (short list: burzyinski, chemerical, flow, forks over knives, gasland, hot coffee, inside job, jesus camp, king of kong, senna, wal-mart, and zeitgeist)
9. Wal-Mart, Monsanto, Nestle, Suez, Bechtel, Massey, Tyson, Smithfield, and anyone, (individual or corporation) who makes over $400 million dollars/year, can suck it. Especially if any of their employees are actually encouraged to seek out government assistance.
10. I got a Dutch bike and I ride it.