p.s. these are funny…

"I will SHIT a DONKEY on you!!"
- overthetop

"you're the Liz Taylor of CCHS"

- iamthepush

"I will beat you till all you know how to say is 'I love Taylor Swift'."

- ohngo

"You and babies go together like oil and water."

- mipena

"I heart wine. It takes today's sorrows and sloshes them around with happiness."
- deEzy
"Don't get fresh with me Ngo...I aint no cop"

- kash-hole

"Can't we just be hippies and live off each other in harmony?"

- deEzy

"I put your ho back on her leash. You're welcome."


"Really? I think we both know my true true calling is arguing with cops. I dream about it. I don't dream about writing.."


"I bought a ruler today and thought of you."

- msJones

gifted & talented:

When in Doubt: Make a List...

told you: man hands, two drinks, and i'm mad. thanks, dad!

Well, hello.  Long time, no see, eh? **that saying is actually one of the few things I got from my dad…others include:  man-hands, fiery temper, and insatiable thirst…for knowledge, that is.

Anyway, it’s awkward, right?  It’s been too long to pretend as though no time has passed–though it was mighty tempting to try and pick up where I left off  so I could finally share my “Netflix and Nutmilk” post that I’ve been revising/updating for almost a year–yet, not quite so long that I could just pretend like nothing has happened…but really, it’s because Phil ended up liking rice milk more than nut milk…which blew my title to shit..and looks surprisingly obscene in print…

Anyway, in the spirit of ‘less is more’ and ‘it might be a good idea to move the cat sh*t post down a couple clicks’–here’s what you’ve missed:

1.  I’m a full-on effing Hippie.  Surprise!  With a capital H–and homemade granola on top–full of sangria-induced vigor, (often)–and soon-to-be-off the grid, motherfuckers!  (if only I had a windmill and a soldering gun)..

2.  Moose is alive!  But only because he first had the stealth–and later the courtesy to take his matters outside–usually in the neighbors’ yard after he steals their food, or eats a whole bird–either way, we are litter box free and have since reclaimed our guest bathroom.  Oh, and because Blue hasn’t killed him..

3.  Pallets are better than *some* drugs:  a) they last longer, b) they’re free, c) they’re labeled, so you know which ones will kill you.  Repeat this:  HT is the pallet for me! (post-10% bleach blast, for due diligence) .  Anything else  = death pallet… or a handicapped-dog porch, or anything else, really–as long as you don’t keep it inside, burn it, or feed it to your baby..?

liquid laundry detergent recipe

4.  I made a bucket of laundry detergent for like $2 and with no bonus carcinogens!  p.s.  So can you.








5.  I also made dog shampoo, counter spray, floor cleaner, and a series of caterpillar snuff films. (that I regret making..and you’ll regret watching…)

6.   Vinegar isn’t just for pickles…it’s for cleaning too.

7.  Cinnamon pills have actually helped make me less of a mosquito target.  No bullshit.  I can now use DEET-free repellant and live to tell about it…although, I hope this won’t affect my chances of having turtles for babies.. hmmm.

8.  Approved documentaries (short list:  burzyinski, chemerical, flow, forks over knives, gasland, hot coffee, inside job, jesus camp, king of kong, senna, wal-mart, and zeitgeist)

9.  Wal-Mart, Monsanto, Nestle, Suez, Bechtel, Massey, Tyson, Smithfield, and anyone, (individual or corporation) who makes over $400 million dollars/year, can suck it.  Especially if any of their employees are actually encouraged to seek out government assistance.

10.  I got a Dutch bike and I ride it.

bike with cup holder

ok, bye!



A Cat Named Moose: The Shit Heard 'Round the World...

meet moose.

It all started one lazy day last summer, I interrupted a “Finding Bigfoot” marathon by casually dropping a good old-fashioned, ‘Let’s get a cat,’ bomb.


It's Hard Out There for a Ngggggo....


Let’s just say I’ve reached the bottom of my barrel and I’m just trying my best to stay out of the red these days…but I’m still pretty much sucking at