Dr. E was Italian..like extremely Italian..like the ‘il duce’ of el douches - He was a maybe 8 years older than me back when I was 22? , and a chiropractor. Wooopdee freaking doo.. FYI – A 2 year post-grad degree does not =DOCTOR… so stop already, you’re not saving lives dude, you’re using your hokey back popping spine manipulation to feed into hypochondriac’s delusions of homeopathic ‘cures’ because the real doctors cut them off the narcotics gravy train. I mean…GET OVER YOURSELF.
Moving on, because I like to think of everything as a lesson learned, I can now look back on this experience and smile. BUT, if I can prevent anyone else from falling down this slippery slope of failure ..I will by all means give it my best shot… save yourselves!!
Anyways, Here are some key observations from this ’learning experience’ that I would like to pass on… :
- Starting off a road trip with the proclamation ” The only time I ever hit a woman…” is a red flag;
- Wearing all black to The Oasis on Lake Travis in the Texas summer heat makes the person you’re with question your ability to make other life choices;
- Accenting your all-black outfit with a super jazzy beltbuckle of some sort of Michelangelo cherub looking pewter bust..doesn’t make your outfit look any more appropriate; when your date is in capris and a halter top. Also it makes her look funny in pictures since she will try in vain to cover up the cherub face with her arm…
- Tugging on your super cute 22yr old date’s halter top to hide her tattoo is going to cause some friction….not literally..because..you know..the sweat & the black on black outfit…
- Re: above statement: We were on the lake. Not at the VATICAN on Christmas EVE. Suck it ‘il duce’.
- Stopping for coffee is awesome..but when you see your date reading the little magnets/knick-knacks/coffee mugs that say ‘Girls Night Out’.. don’t feel compelled to say ‘That’s the last time you’ll ever say that’. 22 yr olds tend to take that sh*t seriously.
over & out..
-k
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