I DON'T F*cking GET Twitter.

All right dudes.  Call me a hypocrite, call me whatever…

Yessssss.  I have a Twitter account. (Actually, I have 2, but only to prevent some other clever little Nggggo from unjustly capitalizing off of my inevitable fame.)

But seriously–I DON’T GET TWITTER.

You know what I DO get? A LOT OF SHIT. Except Twitter.

A series of questions for the Twit-Wad Nation:

So, you just follow people that you may, or may not know?

Can or can’t you reply to these acquainted or not-acquainted Tweeter’s tweets?

WHAT THE F*CK is a RE-Tweet?

How do you get people to follow you if you can’t reply to something they said tweeted?

What came first:  The followers?  Or the Tweet?  OR was it the RE-Tweet? (Ignore that last question if I’m way off-base about what a re-tweet is…if it’s a chocolate bar, then I actually would like Twitter a lot more.  Everyone knows the secret to ensure a high attendance rate in any social setting is to have free food.)

If there’s no chocolate, how the FUCK do you gain followers?

Do you have to launch into some especially moving Twit-liloquy?  Thereby summoning the blue birds of Tweetopia to bless thee with a harem of 72 followers who will thence spread your tales Twit-zardry over all that is Twitdom?

More importantly, WTF is UP with people @twithole-ing on Facebook?   It’s @NNOYING.  If I wanted to see that many @@s I would watch a f*cking Juvenile VIDEO or Google Image search pictures of CoCo…

ANYTHING but commit more time to my EITHER  of my TWO Twit-Wad accounts.

Here’s a tip:

If you’re on Facebook, and you have to reply to multiple people:  PRESS ENTER.

It moves DOWN A LINE.

THEN

YOU

CAN

PUT

A

REGULAR

FUCKING

COLON:

I.E.:

OhNgo Happy VD!!

Yesterday Feb 14th, 201o  Comment Like

Sun at 11:21am · Non-TwitholeA: hope yours is an itchy one! ;-)

Sun at 11:31am · OhNgo: eeewww :) it’s going to be a drunk one..i’ll tell you that much.

Sun at 11:59am · Non-TwitholeB: Just a normal Sunday then?

Sun at 12:14pm · OhNgo: HAHAHA

Non-Twithole A:  Your mom’s is itchy

Non-Twithole B:  NO day is normal with me.  I am full of surprises :D

ANNNND..I’m out.  xoxo

@k hahaha jk

-k