Since this was my first blog request, I was super-pumped that anyone would care about my opinion, especially given that she requested it formally! I honestly use this sh*t as a creative outlet for my restless/slightly bizzarre mind. I’m just glad that anything I write makes enough sense that people can actually understand it, let alone find somewhat entertaining. I mean, so what if I’ve known her since like 3rd grade?
Lemme tell ya, this lil Ngo takes any blog job seriously and I’ll be goddamned if I ever miss an opportunity to make an impression and/or exceed expectations… although I did have to noodle on it for a second or two:
Internal Monologue:
“WTF kind of song choice is that? The Bloodhound Gang? I haven’t heard that sh*t in yeaaars.. Is she making a pass at me? Some sort of unrequited love spanning 20+ years? Does she think that sending me the .mp3 file so I can listen to it at work will result in me wanting to “do it like they do on the Discovery Channel” with her? Is this supposed to be ‘our song’ now? Or is this some sick jab at me because she knows what I haven’t been doing?? Who would do that? More importantly, who the eff even has this song on their work computer anyways? How long has she worked there? Jeeezus this skirt wrinkles easy…”
Embarrassing as it may be; that is exactly how my mind races–well, minus the capitalization & punctuation…
Irrespectively, here’s what I came up with(clicka clicka…):
Regardless of my opinion, The Bloodhound Gang still wins. I have had this stupid song stuck in my head and thought about bad sex ALL DAY. It is nearly impossible to read the lyrics without singing the stupid song in your head!! Brain-washing monkeys…
A series of questions:
Is bad sex better than no sex? What do other people eat on their hashbrowns? Does the fact that I only like salt & pepper on mine mean that I am a prude? “Two-thumbs up?” How do these white boys get away with saying this sh*t?
I listen to some pretty crude music, but you know what? Trina, Tu Pac and Trick Daddy don’t dress up like goddamned cuddly stuffed monkeys in their videos to package promiscuity and procreation to the 15 & under market.
I honestly think these monkey-men were more more detrimental to the kids back in 1999 than Joe fucking CAMEL was way back when he was catching shit for brainwashing kids.
Hey KIDS! Turn off the T.V.. STOP humping like monkeys. AND go play outside!! You buncha soft little under-achieving jerks.
Well…this went in a wholly different direction than I initially intended. :|
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Thank you – I appreciate the feedback. It’s worth it keeping up with soley for the cathartic effect of less sh*t that annoys me or is hilarious – bouncing around in my head. Point noted – I have one especially big rant that I’ve been trying to wrap my brain around…
i without a doubt love your posting kind, very attractive,
don’t give up as well as keep penning mainly because it just worth to follow it.
looking forward to look at far more of your current content articles, have a great day :)
Hi, I’ve been a lurker around your blog for a few months. I love this article and your entire site! Looking forward to reading more!
1. agreed.
2. ketchup is for dipping. not covering.
3. aaahahahaha :) touche
3a. i re-read. ‘you’re getting two thumbs up’. next: ‘you’re done with the two hand touch’.. I take that as some sort of dane cook-esque super-thumber. maybe i’m the gross one..
4. gettin a little deeper than i intended with that, but yes, i suppose they have.
p.s. thanks
So, this really made me laugh. Random Dude answers your questions:
1. Bad sex is worse than none at all.
2. Ketchup.
3. Not enjoying two thumbs up makes you a prude.
3a. I’m not at all sure that reference is what you think it is.
4. White boys have been getting away with it forever.
P.S. Pretty smile, nice hands.
Yaaay! Yes, I think we might have found the root of the problem. Girls should be less “hinty” and more direct. I’m going to email this song to all of my future crushes. Actually, I might just email it to my entire address book to see who bites. Then I can act all “omg!! NO! whatever would have given you the idea that I liked you?” type of coy with whoever gets the “right” idea. You know, to restore the boy chases girl balance.
Sad to say, but I’m pretty sure that these boys have put these desires into effect. Do they listen to themselves during? Yes.
I like Prince too. And yes, JTT looks like a weinie. Exactly.
Sounds like how I eat my Sonic Tater Tots.
HAHAHA – did that come with a video? I might do that one next.. remember 40yr old virgin? “I kinda felt sorry for the horse..”
I am on the ‘do without’ side.. but should I decide to, I’m going to make the most of it. LOL. It takes 2 to tango. If one person is bad..the other one’s gotta take the lead. Ok.. not going too much further into it…
Sasha covers her hashbrowns with ketchup…WTF? That ain’t right…that’s all I’m saying..
I will never look at the thumbs up the same again.
I thought Joe camel was f*cking cool. I think Jac & I had a Joe Camel deck of cards and other kiddy cigarette stuff. We don’t smoke.
Glad I did you proud..I still am laughing about how I managed to turn a song about sex from 1999 into a incendiary attack against children today. HAHAHA..
p.s. Rabbits aren’t very visually interesting when they have sex. In order to make them interesting vs. the reality of them just looking like 2 fluffy things convulsing: The Discovery Channel would have to zoom in and film in super-slow-motion. And that’s not a ‘nature video’. That’s rabbit porn. Gross.
:)
First of all… double tap high five! that is “do it like they do on the discovery channel” good! compliment? why yes, yes it is. Very Ngo.O worthy!
So I will break down my response :)…
Internal Monologue:
If she thinks this is a pass at her…should I flirt with men with this song? Would it work? What if I put this song on while doing what I have not been doing as well? hmmm… Why do I have it at work? Somebody else sent it to me :). Was that person making a pass at me?
Do you think “Bad Touch” is a projected reflection of their internal desires that they can’t put in effect? Do you think “The Bloodhound Gang” listens to this song for “The Bad Touch”?
I like Prince, …just sayin. Oh, and I was also disappointed in Johnathan Taylor Thomas…needs some pimp juice or something.
I get my waffle house hashbrowns scattered with salt pepper and cheese? What’s that mean? Maybe we need to break down the implication of hash brown preference.
Brain-washing monkeys? I agree! Along with Ginuwine’s “Pony” (come on my ride my pony). We went from riding a pony to, shall I say it again, doing it like they do on the discovery channel.
Is bad sex better than no sex? I’m just going to plea the 5th on this one.
What DO other people eat on their hashbrowns? I wonder as well. I will start asking this upfront of people now.
Two-thumbs up? Just dawned on me .. Can you also call that double tap? HAH!
Poor Joe Camel…Dmn Bloodhound Gang!
From your rasta-boozian homie,
I will now think of things for you to blog about. I am Ngo blog hooked.
Thanks for your comedic value from the one and only “Ngo Noodle”!
P.S. I can’t stop thinking about the discovery channel episode of all our animal kingdom friends doing it like the do….on the discovery channel. How come they never show rabbits? Isn’t that the social norm? (To f*** like rabbits?)