Excuse me, Miss? Your bitch is bigger than your balls.

Last April, I quit my job.

Showing an inordinate amount of restraint and professionalism, I took the high road and signed off with a short & sweet letter:

Friends, Romans, countrymen,

Well, it’s about that time… actually about 19 minutes late…

Anyhoo, I’ve really enjoyed working here but I have decided to seek pastures new.

I wanted to express my gratitude for having been given the opportunity to work here over the past few years.  It has been an incredible learning experience and I will cherish the wonderful friendships that I have made.

Good luck in the future inside and outside of work–Should you like to join up for a beer or other miscellaneous activities, I can be contacted at:  www.suckit.com

Over & out,

Kris notgonna..notgonna…Notgonna work here anymore.

A brave move--After nearly 5 years, I parted ways with the soul-sucking financial world and moved on to the proverbial greener pastures that little girls dream of:

Where the beer and the Adderall play…

A few of my friends worried that I would no longer have anything to write about because I was so happy once I started my new life.  I work from home, I write; I work on websites and spend a large portion of my time being creative and  facebook-ing.

I only wear pants that feature an elastic waistband, what could possibly be so bad?

Well, au contraire mes amis, I have a veritable bounty of irritations that I accrued throughout my career at El Excel Sweatshop, but my need for food and shelter outweighed my need to discuss any of the aforementioned irritations via public forum--But the coast is clear, and I think enough of it has passed for any reasonable expectation of professional courtesy to have dissolved.

Here goes:

Women who take on hyper-male attributes in order to compensate for a lack of balls, end up being the biggest bitch vs. having the biggest dick

So, this is where I was going get all rant-a-rrific to explain my theory, but I think this pixie sketch below offers a less biased perspective on the subject and it kind of ended up being a little hard on the eyes…

Oh—please note that I said ‘sweatshop’ because the B’s in my group had the combined Excel acumen of a mildly talented 7 year old employee at a soccer ball factory…

Stereotypes will always exist because a lot of different people do a lot of the same things for a lot of the same reasons.   It’s not the end of the world when someone points this out, people need to get over themselves.  Done.

Completely escaping a negative stereotype is impossible and attempting to do so will only increase your chances of morphing into a bullshit caricature of what you were trying to avoid in the first place.

For example:

Women don’t want to be viewed as emotional or weak in the office, so they pretend they have a dick and end up becoming a cunt.

Men don’t want to be taken for homosexuals, so they end up fighting in UFC.

xoxo,

kris