Excuse me, Miss? Your bitch is bigger than your balls.

Last April, I quit my job.

Showing an inordinate amount of restraint and professionalism, I took the high road and signed off with a short & sweet letter:

Friends, Romans, countrymen,

Well, it’s about that time… actually about 19 minutes late…

Anyhoo, I’ve really enjoyed working here but I have decided to seek pastures new.

I wanted to express my gratitude for having been given the opportunity to work here over the past few years.  It has been an incredible learning experience and I will cherish the wonderful friendships that I have made.

Good luck in the future inside and outside of work–Should you like to join up for a beer or other miscellaneous activities, I can be contacted at:  www.suckit.com

Over & out,

Kris notgonna..notgonna…Notgonna work here anymore.

A brave move–After nearly 5 years, I parted ways with the soul-sucking financial world and moved on to the proverbial greener pastures that little girls dream of:

Where the beer and the Adderall play…

A few of my friends worried that I would no longer have anything to write about because I was so happy once I started my new life.  I work from home, I write; I work on websites and spend a large portion of my time being creative and  facebook-ing.

I only wear pants that feature an elastic waistband, what could possibly be so bad?

Well, au contraire mes amis, I have a veritable bounty of irritations that I accrued throughout my career at El Excel Sweatshop, but my need for food and shelter outweighed my need to discuss any of the aforementioned irritations via public forum–But the coast is clear, and I think enough of it has passed for any reasonable expectation of professional courtesy to have dissolved.

Here goes:

Women who take on hyper-male attributes in order to compensate for a lack of balls, end up being the biggest bitch vs. having the biggest dick

So, this is where I was going get all rant-a-rrific to explain my theory, but I think this pixie sketch below offers a less biased perspective on the subject and it kind of ended up being a little hard on the eyes…

Oh—please note that I said ‘sweatshop’ because the B’s in my group had the combined Excel acumen of a mildly talented 7 year old employee at a soccer ball factory…

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPonUwpcs4I

Stereotypes will always exist because a lot of different people do a lot of the same things for a lot of the same reasons.   It’s not the end of the world when someone points this out, people need to get over themselves.  Done.

Completely escaping a negative stereotype is impossible and attempting to do so will only increase your chances of morphing into a bullshit caricature of what you were trying to avoid in the first place.

For example:

Women don’t want to be viewed as emotional or weak in the office, so they pretend they have a dick and end up becoming a cunt.

Men don’t want to be taken for homosexuals, so they end up fighting in UFC.

xoxo,

kris